Psychotherapy and Mental Health Counseling in New York | Asian & Asian American Therapists in New York

Ella Xiaoxu Hong, MA, MHC-LP

Psychotherapist

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洪晓旭咨询师的中文简介

We accept most major commercial insurance plans, including Aetna, Wellfleet, Cigna, United Healthcare, Oxford, Oscar Health, Empire Blue Cross Blue Shield, and Carelon Behavioral Health, for residents of New York.

she, her, hers

You may have worked with therapists who felt polished, goal-oriented, and always a little ahead of you. But I want you to know: I’m not like that. I’m the kind of therapist who’s chill, who loves slowing down in session, and who doesn’t always do things by the book. I want to offer you a space where you don’t have to rush, explain, or “do well” to be enough.

Of course, I use tools like CBT and DBT to help bring clarity, but what I’m best at is creating space where something shifts quietly, through our relationship. If there’s a day when you’re too tired to speak, I’m completely fine spending the session watching your favorite movie with you. I won’t push you to “get better” right away. We’re not in a race to become the best version of you.

I’ve worked with children, teens, and adults who carry deep trauma. I deeply understand what it means to grow up holding expectations before you even had words for them. Maybe you learned early on that you had to be excellent to be loved. You became good at shrinking your needs, twisting yourself into someone “acceptable.” But somewhere inside, there’s still that question: Am I ever enough? Is it my fault?

I’m not here to fix you. I’m here to walk beside you as you slowly unlearn that story, and begin to believe you’re already worth being seen, just as you are. Not becoming who you’re “supposed” to be can be its own kind of care. And it’s okay! We can learn to hold that imperfect, trying child together.

Working with me doesn’t mean filling out worksheets every session or making visible “progress” every week. It means you slowly begin to feel a little less anxious about the world’s expectations. It means you start to allow pauses, confusion, even stillness.

Progress might be showing up just a little earlier than last week. It might be saying, “I’m tired.” Noticed your own emotions and patterns. Or realizing: I can be me and still be accepted. The real shift is when you begin to believe that your existence is already enough—and that you carry power just by being here.

Top Specialties

Trauma & C-PTSD

Self-Esteem & Self-Image

Anxiety

Relationship Issues

Depression

Expertise

Trauma & C-PTSD
Anxiety
Depression
Relationship Issues
Self-Esteem & Identity
Self-Harm
Substance Use
Eating Disorder
Emotional Disturbance
Family Conflict
Parenting
Cultural & Immigration Issues
Personality Disorders
ADHD
Bipolar Disorder
Schizophrenia
Anger Management
Life Transitions
Personal Growth
Women’s Issues
LGBTQ+
Career Counseling
Peer Relationships
Family Therapy
Child Therapy
Adolescent Therapy
Elder Therapy

Specialty Approaches

Psychodynamic Therapy

Trauma-Informed Therapy

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (Structured DBT)

Motivational Interviewing (MI)

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

Internal Family Systems (IFS)

Art Therapy

Music Therapy

Play Therapy

Attachment-Based Therapy

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

Solution-Focused Therapy

Person-Centered Therapy

I Work With

Individuals

Couples

Families

Education

New York University, Master's in Counseling for Mental Health and Wellness

Licensure

LMHC-LP, State of New York / 18-P-131389-01

About Ella

  • I became a therapist out of a deep curiosity about human nature, and a personal longing for healing and growth. I wanted to understand how people respond to emotions and relationships, and what shapes those responses underneath. I’ve worked in domestic violence shelters, outpatient hospital settings, addiction recovery programs, and currently at a child and family trauma clinic. I've supported clients ranging from age 5 to 60, navigating anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, psychosis, borderline personality disorder, ADHD, and various forms of relational trauma, cultural pressure, and identity confusion.

    At the domestic violence shelter, I came to see how many behaviors extensions of early attachment patterns and internalized definitions of love are. In the addiction program, I witnessed the healing power of group connection and began to understand the complex interplay between shame, loneliness, and control. At the child and family trauma clinic, I learned to read family dynamics and hear the generational echoes beneath a child’s behavior. Every story I listen to also reveals a part of myself—and in accompanying others, I find pieces of my own healing.

    I believe therapy is a shared process—not about finding the “right answer,” but about creating a space where we can reconnect with the parts of ourselves that have been overlooked. Healing doesn’t happen just by figuring things out, and it’s never a straight line. It’s a process of slowly turning inward, getting to know ourselves again, and learning to embrace the inner child within us.

  • Working with me is grounded in connection, presence, and safety. You don’t need to “have it all together” to begin—in fact, that’s what we’re here to explore. I offer unconditional positive regard while holding space for emotional complexity and uncertainty. My approach is not rigid or overly structured. In our work together, I hold a space that’s both gentle and honest. I won’t rush you, but I also won’t avoid what’s real. Our sessions are relational—what happens between us often reflects patterns in your outside world. I may offer reflections, metaphors, or somatic practices. Sometime can be something creative to express yourself:) I honor your autonomy and inner wisdom—you are in the driver’s seat, and I’m here beside you, helping navigate through emotional terrain at your pace. I may ask reflective questions, notice patterns, or challenge gently when something feels stuck, but always with compassion and care. Some clients appreciate having structure or exercises; others just need a safe place to feel and think out loud. Either way, we’ll co-create what support looks like for you. In the first 1–2 sessions, we’ll take time to get to know each other. I may use assessment tools if helpful, but most importantly, I’ll be curious about your goals and what you’re hoping to receive from therapy. I tend to pay special attention to how early experiences; internalized beliefs might be shaping your current emotional world and the people you want to become.

  • I work best with clients who are open-minded and motivated to engage in the therapeutic process. They don’t have to have all the answers—but they’re curious about themselves and willing to explore and seen, even when it's hard.

  • I’m committed to lifelong learning and regularly attend trainings in trauma-informed care, DBT, family systems, and attachment-based approaches. I’m especially interested in expanding my practice through EMDR, IFS, and spiritually integrated therapy. I believe that learning never ends, and staying connected to new frameworks and practices helps me grow both personally and professionally. Collaboration with colleagues, supervisors, and interdisciplinary teams supports me in holding multiple perspectives and serving clients with more depth and integrity.

  • I believe that therapy is a two-way process and client's own ability. I’m not above or ahead of you—I’m beside you, sometimes as a mirror, sometimes just as a witness. Each session deepens my understanding of what it means to be human. I believe in your strength, your capacity for change, and your right to define what healing looks like. I also believe that there are no “bad parts” in us, only parts that once had to protect or adapt. I work from a client-centered, psychodynamic, and attachment-based framework, which means I believe that much of our emotional life is shaped by early relationships and unconscious survival strategies.

Our Therapists

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We’ll respond to all messages within 48 business hours.

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