Psychotherapy and Mental Health Counseling in New York | Asian & Asian American Therapists in New York
Ella Xiaoxu Hong, LMHC
Psychotherapist
We accept most major commercial insurance plans, including Aetna, Wellfleet, Cigna, United Healthcare, Oxford, Oscar Health, Empire Blue Cross Blue Shield, and Carelon Behavioral Health, for residents of New York.
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My work concentrates on helping you regain agency and develop your selfhood.
It is hard to know what you want when you have spent much of your life making others proud. Many of my clients come to therapy with a persistent sense that they are not enough; for some, this began with a critical parent or caregiver. The only thing we can do right now, as the past is set, is to begin to understand how those early relationships still shape the way we see ourselves and do things.
I often work with young adults and their parents alike, who are beginning to ask a deceptively simple question: “What do I actually want?” or “How can I help my unmotivated child?”
My approach is grounded in attachment and psychodynamic / parts work. I have worked with teens struggling with self-harm and suicidal thoughts. This experience has given me a solid foundation in helping clients stay safe and learn practical skills to manage difficult emotions, such as those taught in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). I adapt my approach to what works best for each client.
I like to keep my therapeutic space warm and creative. Over time, I hope to see my clients say goodbye to me with a smile and the firm belief that they know what seed they want to grow within themselves and feel confident about it.
There are no perfect parents or perfect selves to be found. If my words resonate with you, I encourage you to reach out to schedule a first session or consultation.
Expertise
Trauma & C-PTSD
Anxiety
Depression
Relationship Issues
Self-Esteem & Identity
Self-Harm
Substance Use
Eating Disorder
Emotional Disturbance
Family Conflict
Parenting
Cultural & Immigration Issues
Personality Disorders
ADHD
Bipolar Disorder
Schizophrenia
Anger Management
Life Transitions
Personal Growth
Women’s Issues
LGBTQ+
Career Counseling
Peer Relationships
Family Therapy
Child Therapy
Adolescent Therapy
Elder Therapy
Top Specialties
Trauma & C-PTSD
Self-Esteem & Self-Image
Anxiety
Relationship Issues
Depression
Specialty Approaches
Psychodynamic Therapy
Trauma-Informed Therapy
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (Structured DBT)
Motivational Interviewing (MI)
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Internal Family Systems (IFS)
Art Therapy
Music Therapy
Play Therapy
Attachment-Based Therapy
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
Solution-Focused Therapy
Person-Centered Therapy
I Work With
Individuals
Couples
Families
Education
New York University, Master's in Counseling for Mental Health and Wellness
Licensure
LMHC, State of New York 018177
About Ella
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I became a therapist out of a deep curiosity about human nature, and a personal longing for healing and growth. I wanted to understand how people respond to emotions and relationships, and what shapes those responses underneath. I’ve worked in domestic violence shelters, outpatient hospital settings, addiction recovery programs, and currently at a child and family trauma clinic. I've supported clients ranging from age 5 to 60, navigating anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, psychosis, borderline personality disorder, ADHD, and various forms of relational trauma, cultural pressure, and identity confusion.
At the domestic violence shelter, I came to see how many behaviors extensions of early attachment patterns and internalized definitions of love are. In the addiction program, I witnessed the healing power of group connection and began to understand the complex interplay between shame, loneliness, and control. At the child and family trauma clinic, I learned to read family dynamics and hear the generational echoes beneath a child’s behavior. Every story I listen to also reveals a part of myself—and in accompanying others, I find pieces of my own healing.
I believe therapy is a shared process—not about finding the “right answer,” but about creating a space where we can reconnect with the parts of ourselves that have been overlooked. Healing doesn’t happen just by figuring things out, and it’s never a straight line. It’s a process of slowly turning inward, getting to know ourselves again, and learning to embrace the inner child within us.
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Working with me is grounded in connection, presence, and safety. You don’t need to “have it all together” to begin—in fact, that’s what we’re here to explore. I offer unconditional positive regard while holding space for emotional complexity and uncertainty. My approach is not rigid or overly structured. In our work together, I hold a space that’s both gentle and honest. I won’t rush you, but I also won’t avoid what’s real. Our sessions are relational—what happens between us often reflects patterns in your outside world. I may offer reflections, metaphors, or somatic practices. Sometime can be something creative to express yourself:) I honor your autonomy and inner wisdom—you are in the driver’s seat, and I’m here beside you, helping navigate through emotional terrain at your pace. I may ask reflective questions, notice patterns, or challenge gently when something feels stuck, but always with compassion and care. Some clients appreciate having structure or exercises; others just need a safe place to feel and think out loud. Either way, we’ll co-create what support looks like for you. In the first 1–2 sessions, we’ll take time to get to know each other. I may use assessment tools if helpful, but most importantly, I’ll be curious about your goals and what you’re hoping to receive from therapy. I tend to pay special attention to how early experiences; internalized beliefs might be shaping your current emotional world and the people you want to become.
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I work best with clients who are open-minded and motivated to engage in the therapeutic process. They don’t have to have all the answers—but they’re curious about themselves and willing to explore and seen, even when it's hard.
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I’m committed to lifelong learning and regularly attend trainings in trauma-informed care, DBT, family systems, and attachment-based approaches. I’m especially interested in expanding my practice through EMDR, IFS, and spiritually integrated therapy. I believe that learning never ends, and staying connected to new frameworks and practices helps me grow both personally and professionally. Collaboration with colleagues, supervisors, and interdisciplinary teams supports me in holding multiple perspectives and serving clients with more depth and integrity.
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I believe that therapy is a two-way process and client's own ability. I’m not above or ahead of you—I’m beside you, sometimes as a mirror, sometimes just as a witness. Each session deepens my understanding of what it means to be human. I believe in your strength, your capacity for change, and your right to define what healing looks like. I also believe that there are no “bad parts” in us, only parts that once had to protect or adapt. I work from a client-centered, psychodynamic, and attachment-based framework, which means I believe that much of our emotional life is shaped by early relationships and unconscious survival strategies.
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