You do not need to come to therapy with everything figured out. Sometimes you just know that something feels off or that you keep finding yourself in the same place. We can start there. The first few sessions are a chance for me to get to know you and understand what has been going on. Working with me is collaborative and conversational. I will listen, but I will also be part of the conversation and share what I notice along the way. We may look back to understand where something comes from, but we will also pay attention to what is happening in your life now and what you might want to do differently. Progress is not always obvious. Sometimes you notice it in a moment when you respond differently than you would have before. Sometimes it is simply realizing that you have another choice.

I often connect well with people who look like they are doing fine from the outside but spend a lot of time questioning themselves on the inside. You may be used to doing what you are “supposed” to do, while quietly wondering if it is actually what you want. You might care a lot about what other people think or find yourself second-guessing choices that should feel simple. Maybe you keep finding yourself in the same patterns, or know logically that something should not bother you this much, but it still does. You want to understand yourself better, even if you do not have all the words yet. You do not need to come in ready to change everything. We can start by getting curious about what is going on and go from there.

I have always been more interested in what lies behind an answer than the answer itself. Two people can make the same choice for completely different reasons. I think this curiosity, along with being someone who genuinely enjoys listening, has taught me not to assume that I understand someone simply because their experience looks familiar. Living between Chinese and American cultures has deepened this perspective. Culture shapes so much of how we see ourselves and the people around us, but sharing a cultural background does not mean sharing the same experience. I want to understand what your background and identity mean to you, rather than assume I already know. That is also how I approach therapy. I want to know the person behind the story and understand why something makes sense to you, even when it may not make sense to someone else.

I do not believe that every uncomfortable feeling needs to be fixed. Many of us come to therapy hoping to stop feeling anxious, sad, angry, or hurt. But these emotions are also part of being human, and sometimes they are telling us something important. Healing does not always mean making a feeling disappear. Acceptance can be just as meaningful as change. We can make room for an emotion without letting it take over. There may be experiences that still bring sadness or pain when you look back on them, even years later. The goal does not have to be reaching a point where you feel nothing at all. You may simply get to a place where you can say, “This still hurts, but I carry it differently now.”